Week 2022#49: on feeling overwhelmed
Self-care rituals help with feelings of being overwhelmed
What I’ve learned
Breaking up in August was definitely the right decision, both for me and Fru. Fru being in Tallinn for a week allowed us to draw a line under our past together and wrap up things in Tallinn to be ready for a future as good friends.
I’ve not been taking various projects in my life seriously enough, and taking things seriously is what gives you qualitatively different results. Seeing how I’m relating to my starting at Bolt (remove all other obligations, prepare to commit fully) shows me that I’ve been coasting along too much since 2019 instead of challenging and holding myself accountable.
What I know about learning didn’t translate into teaching skills. Through the Incubator I got to talk to Toomas Roolaid for very valuable teaching insights (keep reading to learn more 👇)
Expectation vs Reality
Fru leaves Tallinn together with Iku and we stay good friends: yes! Spending a week together allowed us to process our past together and we realized how got friends we still are.
I’ll go to Lenka’s farewell gathering instead of a business dinner: yes! Lenka worked at Fika for years and just moved back to Slovakia. While we didn’t spend much time together, it was important to be congruent with my values by showing up for somebody I know instead of chasing new connections.
I’ll sign the contract with Bolt: yes! While there were some last-minute changes, I still signed. I’m excited about the challenge, the work environment, the culture, and the product. This excitement needs to be channeled into learning, practice, and work next.
I’ll get my first test client: fail! I did not pay enough attention to my business and didn’t try hard enough. To be honest, I didn’t try hard at all. I just tried.
What happened
Mentoring about the psychology of education with Toomas Roolaid: this was a great one-hour session with tons of useful information about how to structure teaching so that it actually sticks. Here are the highlights:
Normalize failure: Set the expectation that as a new learner you’ll fail often and that the goal is to fail, in many different ways. Failure excites the brain to evaluate new ways of handling situations.
Experience first, theory second: experiencing something before talking about theory is necessary to create the right “shelves” or “hooks” in the brain to actually
Don’t expect results during the learning period: the learning period is for making mistakes and building a mental model of the problem space. Results should be expected not during the learning session, but a while after that when the brain had a chance to process the information.
Fru wrapped up her life in Tallinn: the leftovers fit neatly into two boxes, which I’ll ship to Hungary now.
I got access to the electricity provider, E.ON, for the house in Sweden: the picture looks grim. Almost 1000 kWh for the first two weeks. The bill will most likely be around 500 EUR for electricity in December.
Just for heating the house to 10°C.
This motivates me to take action
I visited my sick father in Germany and thought it is going to be his last week on earth: I never saw him this weak before and was shocked. As a result, I extended my stay, visit him every day in the hospital, and booked a flight back to Germany over Christmas.
Luckily he has been getting better over the weekend.
On feeling overwhelmed
The last week was emotionally taxing: wrapping up the relationship with Fru, being confronted with the possibility of my father’s death, and having to be honest about letting my business mentor down because I didn’t focus enough on the business when I did have the energy.
With Fru being in town and taking care of Iku, I fell behind on a lot of regular activities (for example, I missed a few gym sessions).
While this was expected, it still was difficult for me. Falling off the horse happens, and it is important to practice getting back into the saddle.
Since these “failures” aren’t catastrophic, I’m looking at it as an opportunity to practice getting back on track with my routines.
Of course, all of this will change on the 19th, when I start at Bolt and my schedule will be largely determined by that.
Spending time with my father right now is the priority, so I expect a lot of back-and-forth between Germany and Tallinn to be part of the coming months. This needs to become part of the routine.