Week 2023#24: quality over frequency

The quality of your interactions with others matters more in the long run than the frequency of these interactions.

Even though it's the second time in the Lofoten, the views are still stunning and despite this being high season, it still feels like you have the whole place to yourself.

What I’ve learned

The quality of interactions with people matters more than the frequency

What makes a friend a close friend?

Everybody has a different view on this, but recently I heard a definition I liked particularly:

You can be yourself with a close friend and don't need to hide your emotions or adjust your behavior; you can share and talk about anything with a close friend.

The conversation that brought about this definition was on the topic of making friends in Tallinn.

My experience was very different from my conversation partner's: I have lots of close friends according to the definition above, whereas for her the situation was different.

This seems to be a common issue for people, and not only in Tallinn.

Which begs the question: why?

On Wednesday I met an old friend for dinner and realized that we've been friends for 13 years.

That's a long time and all kinds of things can — and did — happen in that time, that can cause you to lose touch and drift apart.

But somehow we still stayed friends.

Thinking about this more, I noticed a commonality among all my close friendship-relationships: we might not meet often, but when we meet, the time spent together is of high quality.

What does high quality mean?

• being fully present with the other person,

• sharing experiences,

• talking about experiences that have moved us: no small talk,

• challenging each other's points of view,

• having engaging conversations in general

It seems like the more you open up and give into a relationship, the stronger the relationship grows, and the faster the growth happens.

Direction vs Movement

Directions for Week 24:

• Connections: yes! Reconnected with two people and deepened relationships with others.

• A sense of wonder: I arrived in the Lofoten, for the second time in my life, and the place is still awe-inspiring and seemingly unreal.

What happened

Highlights of last week:

• embarked on an actual vacation - no work, no ambitions, no laptop

• actually cooked a meal instead of just consuming ingredients because I am lazy

• preserved my gym habit even though it was difficult after returning from Lisbon