Discover more from Everyday Adventures
Week 2023#26: set expectations and communicate them
Setting and communicating expectations with the people around you improves the quality of your relationships
Somebody thought this picture was taken in Greece.
What I’ve learned
Set expectations and communicate them to improve the quality of your relationships
As part of the upcoming 360-degree feedback cycle at work, we received training on how to give good feedback.
Again, nothing new under the sun, you’d think.
But how we process and interpret words depends very much on our emotional and mental state at the time of reading.
What’s been keeping my mind busy in the background over the last couple of days, as a result of the trip to Norway, is this: vision.
The age-old question of what do you actually want in life?
Essentially the top of Maslow’s pyramid of needs.
Four years ago, somebody recommend a book to me, and a few days ago I actually remembered the recommendation and started reading the book.
Even though the title makes it sound like it’s a book for turning you into a full-on robot, I gave it the benefit of the doubt and approached it with an open mind.
Et voilà, it talks about how to establish your vision and about how to execute to achieve your vision.
With this in the back of my mind, reading about how to give feedback left different impressions than the last time I looked into the topic:
it’s a performance skill you need to practice, in the moment,
to give actionable and specific feedback, you need to have an idea of what you expect from others,
and most importantly, you need to communicate this idea
This applies to pretty much any interpersonal relationship.
Don’t make people guess about what you want or need.
Don’t be left guessing about what is right or wrong, just ask the other person when you are not sure (and sometimes even when you are sure, just to confirm your opinion).
Once you’ve put expectations in place, it is easy to give and receive feedback on behavior, because you have a measuring stick.
Is this behavior in line with what’s expected of me?
Eventually, you’ll get good at evaluating your own behavior against expectations, which allows you to give feedback to yourself and adjust your behavior accordingly.
I’m still working on being more clear about my expectations towards the people I’m working with.
Surprisingly enough, the lack of clarity stems from my not knowing what I want to expect from others.
Direction vs Movement
Directions for Week 25:
Shaping my environment: I actually removed 4 full bags of clutter from my bedroom at my apartment and as a result, my mind is much more at ease in that room.
Direction for Week 26:
Vision: it’s time again to paint a picture of the future that’s enticing and motivating. The last time I did that, it came from a very negative place and while fear can motivate you to act, I’d rather be motivated by excitement.
I temporarily moved into a new apartment in Tallinn (Uus Maailm) with Suzanna.
Part of “shaping my environment” is changing my environment to see how it influences my behavior. Being closer to the office and further away from Telliskivi has shown me that I miss the longer walks to the office to ease into the working day. Being only 10 minutes away from the office means I delay going to the office for as long as possible and then rush to the office.
That’s not how I’d like to start the day 😅
On the flip side, living with a partner actually makes me spend time at home because now there’s a reason to be home.
The time and conversations in Norway instilled a sense of ambition in me and I’m taking “Decode Estonian” more seriously:
there’s a plan for producing and publishing content now,
Käti is informed about the plan,
we’re executing the plan together,
and reviewing the results of execution weekly.
Actually making and executing the plan definitely makes this project feel more serious.